Why gay marriage must be kept illegal

I finally figured out why it is so important to the right wingers. It's just too darn appealing. No one could say no to being gay; it is like crack. The only way we can prevent the whole world from turning gay is by keeping it against the law. These conservatives need that law on the books. It is the only thing keeping them from donning their short-shorts and heading to the all night suck-fest at the highway rest stop. Thank you lawmakers for protecting my heterosexuality. BTW, I think its working. A few more years of the Defense Of Marriage Act and I'm sure everyone will give up their gayness and the world can again be as God intended; homogenous (no wait, that's got the word homo in it, damn).